4 Lessons to Mentally Cope During a Job Search
Advice for your (and my future self’s) career transition
Job searching is hard. It could be incredibly frustrating, and at its lowest point the stress and uncertainty can take a toll on one’s mental health.
I’ve had the experience of going through this months-long journey several times. Two of those times were after being laid-off in the midst of global crises: the Great Oil Crisis in 2016 and the more recent one in the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic.
Gone are the days when people would typically become “lifers” at a given company. Nowadays (and in the foreseeable future given the accelerating technological advances) people can expect to undergo multiple career transitions.
Therefore, when I have to make another career transition, these are what I’d advise my future self (and I hope any of these could help you too). These are pieces of advice to challenge or address what may happen and what thoughts may arise during the job search.
Turn to your network
This is not the time to clam-up and figure things out on your own. This is the time to seek help from as many people as you need, from those closest to you, to those a few degrees of separation apart. If you, like me, would rather “not bother” people with your problems, affirm to yourself that you’ll pay these people back down the road, and you’ll help others as well once you’ve sorted out your own situation.
Listening ears
The aftermath of losing a job and the job search that ensues is filled with complex emotions. In those moments, find friends or family members who could at the very least listen to you and offer words of support.
After hearing news of being laid off, I spent the next few days calling family and close friends to tell them the news. It was a cathartic way to process the immediate grief over losing a job, and the anticipation of the grueling work that lay ahead.
Advice and advocates
A networked job search is more effective than purely sending cold applications online. Having advocates at the company you’re applying to significantly improves your chances of landing an interview (or even having your application reviewed in the first place).
Initially, I tended to see networking as a superficial, transactional activity. However, that changed when mentors and friends told me to re-frame networking as an opportunity to genuinely know about a role, team, company, industry, and last but not the least, the experiences and perspectives of the person you’re speaking with.
Reflect and be purposeful
The job search presents an opportunity to pause and reflect. As tempting as it is to dive into your resume, update your LinkedIn profile, and immediately send job applications, take stock of your life and career thus far. In particular, reflect on the following:
- Your professional and personal strengths and values — What are you good at? What matters to you? What hard and soft skills do you possess? How have these strengths and values manifested in what you’ve achieved?
- Your criteria to evaluate if an opportunity is the right fit — What are your financial and non-financial aspirations for your next role? How would you prioritize various aspects of a role (i.e. work-life balance, salary, location, autonomy, specific perks, etc.)?
- Your career narrative — what is your story? how do your experiences, strengths, values, and desires connect towards the next step you’re looking to take?
By knowing what you’re looking for, what you offer, and what your career narrative is, you’ll conduct your job search with more intention, and can confidently and genuinely express yourself during the hiring process. You’ll also give yourself a better chance of bouncing back even stronger than where you were in your previous role.
For more information about reflecting on your strengths, career goals, and crafting a career narrative, here’s my go-to webinar from the MIT Sloan Alumni Office on Navigating Your Career at Any Age and Stage. The MIT Sloan Alumni Channel also has webinars for every step of the job search, from initial reflection to negotiating a job offer.
Rebuild a sense of normalcy
A key consequence of losing a job is how all the routines accompanying that job suddenly unravel. There’s a feeling of being displaced, and it’s important to rebuild a sense of normalcy.
Firstly, think about job searching as your job. If anything, in this job, you are your own boss, and it is on you to provide yourself some structure. Establish your own goals and metrics to measure your performance. Schedule dedicated times of the day and the week to research about companies and industries, to network, and to practice for interviews. Monitor and evaluate your progress, and celebrate your achievements.
Secondly, as with your regular job, support your job search by taking care of your routines. Ensure that the table stakes are covered: sleep, diet, exercise, and personal connection. If anything, you have more control of your time to improve these habits as well.
Battle your inner saboteur
Job searching is a mental battle. As challenging as the situation may be, you need to battle destructive thoughts and ensure you are centered and confident as you go through every recruiting process.
Be your own best friend
When you’re already down, the last thing you want to do is to beat yourself up further. Instead of being unhealthily self-critical, put yourself in your best friend’s place. How would they talk to you if you told them you didn’t get the job? They’d tell you that you’re putting the effort, that it’s their [the company’s] loss, that tomorrow’s another day and you’ll get the right job. Be your own best friend.
As someone who can be too self-critical, this was my go-to coping mechanism to keep myself from going down the rabbit hole of self-defeating talk. For more information on self-talk and more, here’s one of my go-to TED Talks, which discusses Emotional First Aid.
Remind yourself of your value
As you get rejected (and occasionally ghosted) over and over again, you might begin to lose confidence and your sense of self-worth. This is when you have to remind yourself of your value. In these moments, I found the exercise below most helpful:
Take a sheet of paper. List everything in your life that you’re proud of. Write about your achievements in school and at work. Think about all the different roles you play; as part of a family, community, country, and other affiliations. For each role write about how you’ve made (or continue to make) and impact on people’s lives.
Maintain some guiding principles
Establish some principles to remind you and carry you through your job search. Here are some of my personal examples:
- If I’ve put in the effort and done my best, that’s all I can ask for.
- There’s no harm in applying even though you don’t meet all of the qualifications in the job description.
- Be fair to yourself by confidently sharing your experiences and accomplishments. [if you need another nudge] you can be sure other applicants will be doing just that.
- As difficult as the job search can be, try to keep moving.
Best of luck, I’m rooting for you!
